Appreciating the Little Things

I don't know that I appreciated the little things that my children did with the first 4. Maybe because I did not know them as little, little children. They were 5-12 when I came around. The last few children, though, I have seen do some crazy things. Often, when Xander is being Xander, my mom will say, "It is a good thing you and Dan got him because you love him no matter what"! Well, guess what? That is true. I love everything he does. Even his bad stuff and that is what I am talking about.

I finally realized how much I want to appreciate the little things. When I was potty training Xander it was frustrating for all of us. But especially for me. I wanted it done. I had started over again with a baby after 7 years with Xander and, for me, it feels very liberating to not have to change diapers or pullups. It feels like kids are almost grown. So I was rushing and there was a lot of hollaring and frustration in the house. One day I realized as I looked at him that when he was potty trained and in school and grown that he would be, well, grown. So I tried to slow down and reminded myself to let him go at his own pace. Others expectations do not rush Xander, or anyone, for that matter. However, when Xander decides he is going to do something he does it and guess what? He is potty trained and he hasn't even started school yet. (That was one of my fears.) All of that frustration probably made a crazy few months for Xander. Months he probably did not even understand because he would not know why they were happening. Those months stunk for me also because I was behaving in a way I don't like to as a parent. I like my kids to see someone happy most of the time. I try to lose my cool over only important things. I was letting losing my cool over the small things become my new behavior. I like myself better this way. Don't get me wrong when I see Dan's Ipod and cell phone floating in the bottom of the tub Xander better run faster than me...but I also want him to continue to wrap his arms around me and say he loves me or pat my head when he tells me he is sorry. I want to hear him say, "I no want to yike that" about the vegetables we put on his plate just a little while longer.

As we walk together now, Trevor, Amylynn, Kenneth and Xander, I appreciate what they appreciate, or I try to. I like them to show the things they notice on the walks be it bugs, flowers, shells, berries or something they see up ahead. I want to know why it interests them. Childrens views of the world are so much better than an adult view because ours get skewered by the expectations that others have for us. Children are pretty straight forward, they say it how they see it.

I may not have gotten my family in the traditional way but I appreciate and love them as if I had. I am grateful for our mixed bag and for the love we find in our home everyday. Yesterday, they all played together in Amylynn's room and Dan and I laughed about how much they were laughing and giggling while they played together. It doesn't get much better than that!