Write more...YELL less!

I have been trying to decide what direction to take this blog because mostly it is very random thoughts and experiences.  So, as it is aptly named, Life in a Blended Family, I have decided to stick with family. Go me!  Today, I read about the Orange Rhino Challenge (thank you, Margaret) found at: http://theorangerhino.com/10-things-i-learned-when-i-stopped-yelling-at-my-kids/

I accept the challenge and will blog about my journey in the next year to not yell at my children...or husband.  I have been working a lot on this and seem to do it the best when I am going through a trial.  When faced with financial strains a few years ago I always felt I was very successful when I did not yell at the kids throughout the day because I knew I was overly stressed and none of it was their doing.  However, I do yell over silly things and mostly it is out of the blue.  I can tell because I can see it in their eyes...both the surprise and hurt especially if it is something that has happened before and I haven't yelled.  What I do know is that when I am yelling it is about me generally.  I am seeing behavior I don't like in myself, I am stressed, tired or mad at someone or something else.

I feel children have been entrusted to us by our Father in Heaven and I want to be the best I can be in this endeavor.  Honestly, I feel like I do a million things right and some things wrong but the wrong weigh on me heavily.  Sometimes it is only a passing comment about the way they are dressed or how they are wearing their hair that hurts them and sometimes it is more like yelling at them about a grade or breaking a rule.  Don't get me wrong, I believe in boundaries and personal responsibility and I believe children can and will learn these things as we exemplify them in our own lives.  However, I do not believe the best learning comes when I am yelling and/or beating a dead horse.

Even today as I began this challenge when I was talking to one of the kids I asked my teenager if it sounded like I was yelling and he said,  "no, but it did sound like you were angry".  So for me it goes beyond just yelling.  I am a passionate person and so when I am passionate about something it does come across very intensely.  Not only that I come from a family of 11 and I liked to be heard, loudly. So becoming "soft-spoken", needless to say, has been a long, arduous journey for me but it is a journey I continue to feel worth taking. 

And so it begins.  Goals I have during this journey to help me stay the course are:

1.  Exercise daily - I KNOW this helps me.  I am always a better and more patient person when I have worked out and sweated early in the morning.  For whatever reason it releases the endorphins I need to behave properly and the double bonus is it keeps me on track with my weight loss goals.

2.  Journal/Blog daily/weekly - Writing helps me get negative thoughts out of my mind when I put it on paper.  Also, when I am writing it is one of the few times my mind is quiet and I can receive the inspiration I am looking for about how to improve or solve a problem. 

3.  Pray/meditate daily - Call it what you will it is another time I can quiet my mind and free my thoughts to receive inspiration and extra strength to see me through my day.  It is also a chance to recognize and acknowledge the support I received and daily blessings at the end of my day.

4.  Gratitude journal daily - I have used these often throughout my life but I have one dedicated to my children...and husband this year and each night I will write 3 things about each of them that I saw them do throughout the day that reminds me of what awesome kids I know them to be.  Plus, I feel, it will help me to remember my commitment the next day.

So, how lucky for you, Monday will be blog day with updates about this journey.  Thanks for being my awesome support group and for loving me anyway!